Sinister and Immoral Kidnappings Committed by Me

  Golden Adapter Jack for the Normal Headphone Plug
    I have two keyboards #musician and I prefer to give each their own adapter Jack, as children and pathetic teenagers and I have issues with inequality like a communist or something.

  Pristine Paperback Copy of Great Expectations with a Dent in the Top
    It could have been Confederacy of Dunces, but I like twinks better than fatties.  JOKING.  whaaatever.
    
  Pair of Bluetooth Earbuds that Have Been in Somebody Else's Ears
    Okay come on.
    
  Unopened Plastic Water Bottle
    It was there for weeks.  
    
  20 Units of Money
    It might've been mine?  Even if it wasn't mine, it's not immoral to take something someone carelessly dropped.  If you're fine with having $20 hanging out of your back pocket, you deserve it.
    
  Quarters
    Quarters are so beautiful.  I have a hard time using them as a store of value because I value them by the beautiful designs they have on them.  They mint new ones every year.  It's an art, coin embossing, and I won't let those artists go unnoticed, no siree.  That's really stupid.  I should hang myself.
      Penny addendum: pennies do not count as stealing because they are pennies.
    
  Bottle of Vodka Seeking Refuge Under the Kitchen Island
    Nobody in my house was an alcoholic, and I wanted to try and be the first.  It tasted pretty bad.  
    
  Toys from the Thrift Store
    This incident had very adverse effects on my psyche.

Last Updated 29 March 2025
Created 3 March 2025