1 "I want to show you my writing..." tremble Fear oh whatever,it feels ,is, alittlefun if it'scomingfrom someone like Zimmerman stood --- shoulders slouching, skinny. She was amicable enough, but Nadia had assumed that she only liked her class out of obligation. "Let me at it," Nadia said. Still standing, Zimmerman pulled her laptop from her bag. "You can sit." Zimmerman sat. "It's really no good--" "Don't say that." "It's the truth. It's horrible." "Well," horribleterriblealreadytruthfully "let me read it first." Zimmerman spun her laptop around. The keys were oily from the pads of her fingertipsalmostperpetuallytouchingsomething her face worried crinkled young. "Tell me what it's about." "If it's good enough, you'll be able to tell." "You got me there." [...] [...] [...] ............ . . this is a masterp " . .. a joke.it's making fun ... """".""..." "It's," yup keep them hang ing on every last word ?it's WHAT? "written really well." ?is it the? best thing uI've read in a While Nadia was smiling, her fingers curled onto her palm fingernails dug dull ditches into skin this isn't happening this isn't real she'll wake upand it'll be a nightmare but gone and the best thing her brain had concepted would have been somethingsomeoneelsewrote but it would have ,atleast, been herownfaults+herownbelief that the best thing someone could be was n't her. Zimmerman was skinny&(not fucking fat not ugly god thank god thank god no curves not a semblance of weakness) and she was smart(gets>in> the<<<<<< <<<<<lt with and maybe it would feel good) awful this is the wor(BEST)st don't frown dear god don't. Don't. Don't let this go to your hea([A butterfly suspended delicate beating its wings a marvel of nature is small and concentrated and a ](rt))[older dogs and big cats do not prey on insects in fact they do not mean to show off but by the virtue of existing they strike fear into the hearts of those weaker than them though people still lose their hea]/ d [[[there is only one thing humans like to do to superior animals]]] [[[quite a few things actually]]] [[[ ]]] oops "Do you really like it?" "Yes." JUST FUCKING SHUT UP ALREADY "It's very dark,"||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| "but it's mature." | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | ""Your diction is evocative... compelling from the get-go... | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | "It's poetic... I liked how the [...]| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | represents the [...] | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |[...] | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | [...] | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | [...] | | | | | | | | | | | | [...] | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | . .. | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | "And you do|this for fun|? | | | | | | | | | | | | | | Zimmer|man? | | | " "Hyes." Saying anything else would be degrading. Nadia looked fixedly in Zimmerman's eyes. "Um." (this was zimmerman) oh so the bastard is human. A moment ago, Zimmerman was fully satiated, inflated, happy. "So, I've been thinking about submitting one of my pieces into a writing contest." "You'd win." oh god "You think so?" shut up "I think so." Zimmerman smiled, and if you didn't know any better, you would think the two were having a great time. "I need your help with..." Oh, anything for the young master. 2 "You guys were supposed to finish the Great Gatsby last night. So, what was the point? Was Fitzgerald just sad that his rich girlfriend cheated on him?" oh how funny nobody's laughing/ it's okay she's nice to look at at it's not just me it's the boys but i guess that's a low standard huh two moles under her chin like vampire bites and her hair and style always so chic oh how she wears scarves when it's not even cold and skirts skirts are dangerous i would not wish them on anyone so vulnerable the floor leers you know nobody'ssayinganything Zimmerman raised her hand. Nadia frowned. "Anyone other than Zimmerman? You can't let her do all the work, you know." A girl raised her hand. does she even like the book how annoying i bet she didn't even pick up on the anti-jew stuff "He wanted to express frustration with the upper class." anti-jew stuff "Right, and how was this shown?" "Well, Tom and Daisy [...]" [.it's not very nice to say.but i don't like being bored.][of course she's right but there's more to it that she isnt saying.she'snot stupid she's smart for her age i suppose]"treat the middle-class poorly"[what. the.. hell am i saying i'm her age] "That's very good, Elaine... I think there's more to it, though." [ugh] [] Zimmerman raised her hand. "Yes, but Tom and Daisy aren't happy." ofcourse she'dsaythething everyone was overlooking parforthecourse completelyontrack wow hooray yippee jumpingforjoy how sharphow intelligenthow emotionally in-tuneNadia did not smile at Zimmerman. Nadia looked at her straight in the eyeballs, the retinas, the cockles of the soul, and she did not smile like the last time they spoke, but she maybe raised her lip. Startled, Zimmerman turned to Elaine. Elaine did not notice anything, or she didn't care. Good. Warm, familiar. "Sure, they might be unhappy, but they're undoubtedly better off---" "So, why did Fitzgerald make them unhappy?" "I guess, because he wanted to show that, despite someone's financial status---" "The system they're living in is unequal, yes, but---" "I wasn't going to say that;Ialreadysaidth-"-- --"Life is inevitably miserable." Elaine stared blankly at her copy of the book. It sat there, stupidly, those abstracted eyes not bringing to mind anything quippy, anything sharper than that pithy phrase. Her cheeks flushed red. The room was silent. Bored boys and shy girls. Zimmerman focused on Elaine, on that feeling, on being the last w "Thanks for doing my job for me, Zimmerman," Nadia said. Elaine smiled faintly. "Not good etiquette to cut her off, but hey." what are you supposed to say when you do someone wrong "Right," Zimmerman said. who does this asshole think she ill show you who i am i will i swear to god you'll see again and again and again 3 It was office hours. The door clicked open. . Z [[ , _. Zimmerman was halfway in the door. and the curtain goes up and zimmerman could only hear nadia and the other girl faintly because she wasn't in the front row as if the wind were gently blowing the words " contemporary [...] young authors [...] literary [...] hemingway [...] modernism [...] dystopia [...]" away Elaine [elaine elaine is that french what a pretty name elaine is she looks french. or wait what's blonde hair again is it british whatever her hair is long and there are still faint lines from her combing her hair probably not too long ago how vain blonde hair talking to nadia like that oh this is horrible what a bad influence infected with the boringness of the times feigning interest how dumb i wish i were as oblivious as she ] smiled, conscious of the presence behind her. " Thank you . " On the way out, she bumpedshoulders with Zimmerman. The light from outside ceased along with Elaine. "What did she need?" "We uphold student-teacher confidentiality here, Zimmerman." "Does she cut herself? Is that the reason she only wears long sleeves? Are you her solitary confidant? If I'm totally off-base, you have to tell me, or I'll start spreading rumours." you'relucky people like you you're lucky you're good at telling stories. "Oh, she," boringBORING "She came to speak to me about fiction writing." what "What?" "You're not the only student capable of creative thought." well i "I want to read it." "I'm glad, and you can follow her right now. Go get her, tiger." but "What did you think of it?" and why doyou think ofit "It was pretty good." STOPbeingobviousSOUND "--genuinely, it was phenomenal. I'm really happy she shared it with me. I'm so proud to have someone like her in my cl" (sta tic white )this isn't happening (noise) o "I'm" horri- -fied, "glad to be" frozen with the very prospect of being "her classmate." "Wonderful." does someone have a cruuu-uh--uh---uhshutup "I told her about the competition, by the way." Zimmerman's countenance dropped. She crossed her legs. "Now I have competition." "I'm sure plenty other kids in this school have applied; they just haven't told me. It's a national competition, Zimmerman. There will be adults, there will be children, and there may very well be people better than you." "Do you believe I have a chance of winning?" truly? please ple "If you didn't have a chance of winning, I wouldn't be helping you. Come on, you're smart. [...]*" [...] why talk about her "t--"alk"--hank "wh"you" her i don't *Here, Nadia showers praise upon Zimmerman, even if the thought of doing so makes her want to bludgeon her to death with a rock to atone the violation against her soul. She tells her what a dutiful student she is. She tells her that she can tell she really cares about the literature rather than the grade, and she can tell, somehow, that her future had much in store. It rubbed her the wrong way because it's true. All the ever-ticking automatons, all the cogs, the bottom grease of the machine --- she had told them their dedication, their hard work, would pay off. When she spoke to Zimmerman, she hoped to god it wasn't true, but she knew and she knew and is it even hard work if you're born twisting your umbilical cord into cursive letters does it count if it grabbed you by the shoulders, no, if you had always siempre semper gripped the ugly thing and worked it into a figure that could be appreciated by the blind the deaf the dumb does it count what if you had been estranged from writing, from language would that egg fertilise and become as healthy as it is now? You know, the education thing isn't actually supposed to work. English is just so you c'n lern to tawk gud and the rest is for show you were never supposed to dammit you were never supposed to it's not fair it's unamerican it's unequal it's Nadia telling Zimmerman how great she is, Nadia learning that her love of literature is built precariously a toppling stack of paper it's going to crush her all that weight you know the rest of her life being worse than a child humiliating this should be something conquerable The praise is too saccharine and stupid and genuine to be reiterated. Just know that Nadia meant every word, and that Zimmerman is partly deaf 3 "ADDRESSED TO L. ZIMMERMAN Congratulations, you have won the $1,000 prize for second place! The judges on the panel wish to personally congratulate you for your piece - it was sublime. The check is included in the envelope, along with a booklet of the winning works, along with honourable mentions. Please return to sender with the paperwork completed. National Writers' Commitee" won... for... s Zimmerman shook the envelope and picked out the booklet. She flipped to the first place winner. Her piece was so sublime, it was second. She flung it across the room. The first? Elaine? Was it really...? As if held down, she dragged herself to the blasted anthology, opening to the last entry just enough to see the name, the first initial, the... Thank god. 4 will complete this later when insecure ]] Created 07 March 2025 Last updated 30 March 2025