if vapes become the alcohol to this generation's hemingways im going to absolutely lose it im going to submerge myself in a bath of narcotics until i become untouchable like berlioz.  im going to lose my head and it will bounce on the floor with a timpani roll.  Dear berlioz hi i really liked symphony fantastique and i know that it is very typical of me to say that and i am sorry.  errr mon chere berlioz salut jaime symphonie fantastique beaucoup errr et je..  . um i dont know the word for know.  can you guess what my favourite movement is though?  I LOVE SYMPHONY FANTASTIQUE!

i also love tchaikovsky's karajan waltz.  the romantic era really ushered in the connection of nations through music, achievement. and competition.  thatsentence only came from the fact tchaikovsky is russian and im #1 red scare believer.  Joking of course.  or... well.  anyway big fan.  Literally big ha ha ha.  it's okay.  hitchcock was thoughtful in part thanks to his shame surrounding his weight.  sorry hitchcock.  errr anyway i also loooveee maurice ravel!  but to clsrify im not the biggest fan i had a friend who's a wayyy bigger (figuratively, but he is tall and handsome... so if there are any insane and musical gay men out there hit him uuup(granted i dont know if he is still alive.  i miss you you are missed)) fan.  obviously i liked bolero.  im #1 percussion hater and #1 percussion lover...  

i like impressionism.  but expressionism is clearer.  i cant make up my mind on whether i prefer hemingway's dry wit or dostoevsky's winding monologues and walks down the promenades and stuff like that.  also polysyndeton is hemingway's thing so i dont know why i did it to dostoevsky's part of the sentence.  i dont even like dostoevsky that much... but i must read more to discern my opinion.  the demons was funny (i only got through a very short portion... i stopped where um lizaveta (?) asks to have something printed (i really like her)( and i thoufht that she and the other girl were kinda... GAAAYYY no im sorry dostoevsky.)  um.  i think i like the way he writes his women!  but maybe that came with age... maybe the real well developed women had to come from within... na screw that

HAWTHORNE'S SCARLET LETTER.  okay this pissed me off (not the book) but the fact that i found out moby dick's whale chapters werent substantial to the plot.  OKAY BEFORE YOU SAY IT'S OBVIOUS i picked it up as a young YOUNG DUMB STUPID sorry... not stupid... young ignorant person and HOW WAS I SPOSED TO KNOW THAT WRiTERS WERE DOGGING ADVENTURE STORIES AT THE TIME!!!  I loved the story but i STOPPED because every whale chapter stole a piece of my soul.  that's why it's so stunted now.  anyway i onky found this out 2024 and i read it a few years prior.  bluh... anyway i like the scarlet letter a lot.  hester prynne is so me and i was.  biting back saying that "errr as a girl who has NO FRIENDS..." during the class discussion (im nervous) .  i really mourned for society's inability to reconcile with their own sins and for hester's shame and pride.  shes my blackpilled neet queen.  Okay sorry.  ummm dimmesdale is funny.  its funny that hes pathetic i likey!  me likey!  whip yourself!!! okay im sorry it actually truly really pisses me off when ladies infantalise themsekves and reduce their speech into monosyllabic psuedopaedo drivel.  so i apologise.  pearl was awesome too i love pearl.  

e e cummings is a good poet (to me) and i guess i didnt really understand why until i pinpointed that i engaged in visualising it in other mediums.  i suppose you could say that for anything --- a mathematics problem can be seen as a specific set of robotic beeps and boops and as proportional constant lines making something beautiful... of course i dont find math particularly emotional so this is difficult.  but whem cummings writes i really do see the colours and the delicacies and the protrusions.  his syntax is gimmicky but its fun.  i planned to only keep this file to "if vapes are the alcohol to this generation's hemingways im going to lose it" but i enjoyed writing this.  thank you 

Created 12 April 2025
Last updated 12 April 2025