The tie between the doorframe and the top of the door is red and striped, and I'm not going to try doing the doorknob anymore because I just lay there and cry and it doesn't do anything but make me feel bad for myself and makes me dumber too all that lost oxygen.  The doorframes in this house are so tall so when I'm on that chair I feel like a poorly installed security camera and may swing off any moment just one push off this thing.  I don't do it yet because I have to write about it in the future.  How will I write if I'm hanging from my doorframe?  They don't make tables that tall.  Maybe I should take a bunch of pills beforehand and then take the jump because I'll know I'm doomed anyway.  Unfortunately I'm spectacular at throwing up.  Maybe I can get the nerves to jump if I have a pair of scissors in my hand, but if I fail, that's one less tie I have to hang from and I don't want to use my nice black one.  That's for the funeral.  



Created 15 October 2025
Last updated 15 October 2025